Parenting Tips Revised!

Parenting Tips revised! When parenting stops working

I was doing so well. My kids were so great. Now they won’t listen. I just don’t know what to do. I have had many parents walk into my office to explain that they had things handles and now everything seems to be falling apart including the parents. We all want children to grow into well-adjusted adults. That means that yes, children do need to have some independence. As children age, the role of a parent also changes more and more into a coach. What worked for a 2-year-old will not be appropriate for a 6 year and definitely not for a 16 year old. To make things even more complex watch child has their own personality types. They come with unique strengths and growth areas. In parenting that translates to is what worked for child 1 but not child 2. So here are some parenting tips revised to meet your maturing child’s needs.

Developmental Stages

Experts like Jean Piaget and Erik Erikason have been studying children for over 100 years. They break down childhood into different stages. In my own training I had to know what gross motor, fine motor, language, emotional, mental and social development was happening within different age ranges. With each developmental stage comes new abilities which can be fun and exciting but for the parent it can bring new challenges.

Enlarge Your Tool Box

There are course, books, websites and classes galore. Some are very helpful and others meh. I recommend starting with what is easiest to apply to your life. I use my local library to get books or audiobooks to help with parenting. I recommend Daniel Siegel or Elaine Mazlish and Adele Faber books. There are many podcasts that might offer the support you need. Some schools and/or churches provide parenting courses, clinic or seminars. These can be helpful because you have interaction with an expert. If that does not work then seek out a parent coach or therapist who specializes in parenting.  

Not About the Parent

There are times when it is not about the parent.  Sometimes is more the connection and relationship between a child and a parent.  How do you know if that is your situation? Consider fi the child is only having issues at home, at school or a specific setting. If the child is having the same issues in many or all places then it might be a struggle they are facing. You still need to parent but perhaps in a new way. I have previously written about depression, anxiety, ADHD and other childhood issues. Consider if your child has other underlying issues that make average parenting techniques not applicable and seek out a therapist for your child.