Managing Your Mental Health and the Holidays

Managing Your Mental Health and the Holidays

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, or so the song says. Yet for many the holidays come with heartaches, worries and trigger from past wounds. How can a person cope with such struggles? What is the state of your holiday mental health?

First is consider what is your struggle. Some of the major issues I see in my clients are from past wounds or events that took place around the holiday season. I also see those who are currently facing trying, stressful or hurtful situations. A divorce, chronically sick family member, or other struggles that brought you to therapy to begin with don’t magically disappear with the season. Finally, I see many who are just plain stressed with the extra to do’s and busyness.

Triggers During the Holidays

If you have walked through trauma, you are probably aware of triggers. It is those subtle things, sights, sounds, and places that immediately awaken the hurt of the past. Grief too has these triggers and they come in rapid succession around this time year which is so focused on family and friends. If you have not dealt with your past, please seek help. Be kind to yourself. If you notice you are extra moody, overreacting, or on edge pause and consider what messages these feelings are delivering. Who or what is being remembered? If you can, take the time to write out, talk out or walk out those thoughts and feelings. Be aware and allow yourself to experience those hard and uncomfortable moments. This can be the start of new health and strength. Again, when dealing with grief or trauma do not do it alone but reach out to friends, family or a professional. It’s okay not to be okay, you don’t have to suffer in silence.

Why Do the Holidays Affect Our Mental Health?

The winter months do come with an increase of seasonal lows sometimes call season affective disorder. Those who deal with anxiety or depression might notice an increase. For others it just seems like its holiday induced. Both can be true and both are uncomfortable to live with. It is true, especially in the Pacific Northwest that the dark and gloomy weather can increase mood disorders. Many of my clients who use nature, getting outdoors and sunshine as coping tools, are now left with rain, dark and being stuck indoors. Knowing what coping tools you have in the season is a valuable resource. I encourage clients to consider self-care that touches four areas: heart, soul, body and mind. Your heart is your relationships, loving others or serving others. This can be calling or texting loved ones to serving or volunteering in your community. Soul is feeding the deep part of yourself, your spiritual side. I do say nature is wonderful but if you prefer you can also look to your creative side with art, music or even cooking. Body is taking care of your physical self through healthy diet, exercise, good sleep and maybe that massage. Mind is stimulating something that interests you. Pick up a favorite book, watch a TED talk or documentary, listen to a podcast. Your goal is to try to do something from each area once a week.

‘Tis the Season for Self-Care Tips

I personally do love this time of year but it does get very busy. Extra parties, events, chores, cooking, cleaning AHHH! The list quickly grows. Many people want the results, the picture perfect holiday experience but don’t take into account the cost. First, I would say manage your expectations both of what you want and what you can give. Saying no is a good thing. COVID has taught me personally to simplify things and that I don’t need as much as I previously thought. You get to decide what events are actually important for you. How much of your time are you willing to spend?  How much money are you willing to spend? By setting good boundaries for yourself you can eliminate some of the stress. I always encourage time for mindfulness and/or meditation. This season often comes with reflection (see my next blog) so take that time. Use this season to be grateful, to celebrate the wins, the growth and gifts received.