Why We Don’t Change Even When We Want To

We may be faced with some less than desirable outcomes in our lives, yet we continue to do the same things that got us there in the first place. Often the “natural consequences” still aren’t enough to cause us to choose different behaviors. How can we say we want better things in our lives, but be unwilling to make the necessary changes? Stop eating sugar, start working out more, stop yelling at our kids, show up to work on time, keep our house clean, plan healthy meals at home, spend less money, …and the list goes on, and on, and on….
I love this quote by Author and life coach Tony Robbins that says: “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change” https://minimalistquotes.com/tony-robbins-quote-3283/ Change takes a lot of work and often we tend to avoid overextending ourselves whenever possible, but sometimes the pain of staying the same is too much to bear, which can often give us the motivation we need to finally act.
So often we want to want to change, but we do not actually want to change. I would encourage you to stop and take a look at what area of life you are wishing to change and decide if it’s something you want, or is it a change someone else may be trying to convince you to make (including societal pressures)? If you really don’t want to do something, it is hard to do find the inner strength and motivation to follow through with it and go the distance. So instead, spend that time figuring out what it is that you want, and put your energy there.
Often the fear of failure can hold us back. We don’t act because if we do, we risk failing. I read something on the wall of a preschool the other day that was very inspiring, it read “Take chances, make mistakes and get messy” apparently it is from Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus, check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGWm\_lOFXCk I encourage you to follow her advice and live life, don’t be afraid of making a mistake, we are human and that is what we do!
Sometimes our environment may prevent us from making changes. For example, it is hard to follow through with healthy meal prepping when our kitchen is not clean and well stocked with the proper equipment and healthy foods. Or we may want to exercise at home but we can’t see the floor. Making change takes determination and preparation. Additionally, sometimes the people around us keep us stuck, as they may fear change and discourage you away from it, so choose your support people wisely.
Check out this list of other things that may prevent us from making change, https://www.rightattitudes.com/2017/06/13/they-dont-want-to-change/ and determine what is stopping you today!