I’m Bored. Tips for yourself and your kids

With the summer approaching, parents are trying to find ways to keep kids preoccupied.  While it is wise to have good supervision it is not necessarily your job to entertain you child.

Blank Spaces

Studies are showing for all of us the need for blank space in our lives. This space that allows our mind to manage the experiences of the day, to tidy up what it did and still needs to do. It’s the place that creativity comes from. It’s the place where problem solving happens. Those who don’t have that time are often lying awake at night with too many thoughts running through their heads. Thinking about the future or the past. Caroline Leaf has a book and app for cleaning up your mental mess.

Turning to Tech

Technology is robing us of this time. Adults are turning to it while they wait. Young adults, teens, and kids have never had to deal with not having an app to solve a problem. Teens use it for communication (63% of communication is not in person). They are losing their social skills or worse yet, never developing them. This results in teens who are dependent on social media or gaming for their friendships. While using some theology is good and necessary, don’t let it take the place of IRL (in real life) activities and friendship. If you do have a true tech dependency, it take 6-8 weeks to detox from technology dependency in teens or adults.

I’m BORED

Let kids be bored. This encourages more building, creating, physically active play. In this play they learn to solve a problem when the blocks don’t stay, figure out how to get the drawing to look right, resolve that argument with a friend or sibling. Through this they also develop more curiosity and awe with the world around them. The more we are used to the highly engaging media, tv, movies etc. the less we are drawn to the calmer but healthier options of reading a book, playing an instrument, talking a walk etc. You still might need to structure portions of the day, but giving your child 1-2 hours of bored time that they have to fill could actually develop new skills in them. For some families I encourage you and your child or teen to make a list of enjoyable activities that they can do when they are bored.

Daydreaming

Growing up you might have been told not to daydream, especially when in class. New studies are showing that daydreaming can be very helpful. Our brains have become overly stimulated and need time to recover. This does not mean zoning out on a device. It means staring out the window, strolling with no destination, listening to the sounds of the space around you. There is a difference from daydreaming and rumination. Rumination often comes with a core of worry or fear. It is also the same thought or situation on a loop. While your brain has time to wander it will often arrive at new insights into situations, reflections on your emotions or quality of life. That can be scary, but as a mental health provider I have seen first hand that avoidance does not produce anything positive. So go ahead and let yourself or your family be bored. Let your mind wander and see what new things you discover about yourself or the world around you.