Enneagram Type 4: The Individualist, The Romantic

Type fours see the beauty in the world and want to express it. As a result, many fours are artists, expressing their unique perspective and deep feelings. Fours have a desire to be unique and to stand out. They detest the ordinary and monotonous. They believe that something fundamental in them is missing and others have it. A four once described this as being jealous of someone’s essence. For example, she noticed the happiness and fulfillment someone had while sailing and was jealous. She explained that she was not jealous that the person was sailing but wanted to obtain the same essence displayed. 

Fours are creative, dramatic, self-absorbed, melancholy, reserved, and deep feelers. Fours feelings change constantly, and they are the only number that can “bear witness to pain without having to fix it” (Stabile, The Path Between Us). In other words, they are okay sitting in difficult or heavy emotions and will do so for long periods of time. They can often be seen as moody, self-pitying, and melodramatic (Cron and Stabile, The Road Back to You). 

Who are Famous Examples of Enneagram Type Fours?

Amy Winehouse, Thomas Merton, Vincent Van Gogh, Virginia Woolf, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, Billie Holiday, Judy Garland, Cher, Stevie Nicks, Prince, Johnny Depp, Cat Stevens, Nicolas Cage, Angelina Jolie, Edgar Allan Poe, Pyotr I. Tchaikovsky, Winona Ryder, Kate Winslet

Enneagram Type Fours in Relationships

Relationships are extremely important to fours and the deeper the better. Fours are always concerned about abandonment and can often create a push-pull dynamic. This can look like playing the victim and being manipulative. Fours are often told they are too much or too complicated. When someone pulls back to take some space, fours can feel abandoned and end the relationship they so desperately long for. Fours want to be known and loved for their authentic selves but are often disappointed and are left feeling abandoned when relationships end unexplainably.